Learning Restraint...

I choked my principal the other day. I pulled her hair, kicked her and threw a punch. Do you believe it? Well, none of it was for real, but I wasn't nearly as nervous when I had to sit down with her for a meeting on Friday.

My principal and I and 3 others from my campus took a restraint training last week and my principal was my partner when it came time to practice the blocks and releases, so we took turns punching, kicking, choking and pulling.

It was a training I was required to take because of potential circumstances I face at school. It was the Nonviolent Crisis Invervention Training Program through the Crisis Prevention Institute. The purpose of the program is to focus on the care, welfare, safety and security of the student. It is definitely a training I would recommend to other teachers, even if you don't have a student you may potentially need to restrain. We worked to understand that restraint is a LAST RESORT option to be used only when the student is a danger to him/herself, others or destructive to property.

I don't see myself necessarily needing to use the restraint procedures, but you just never know what will happen in the classroom, so the information is handy to have. It would have been helpful to have a few years ago when I had an especially challenging student who was a runner and I found myself grabbing for her far too often because her favorite route was for the outside doors and toward the streets - she once made it as far as the street corner of a major intersection.

However, the restraint I find myself needing more often, lies within myself. I need to restrain myself because I become impatient...with people in general. I get impatient when I have to wait for people, especially when it was a set appointment; and I get impatient with my students when they are playing instead of paying attention. I need to rely on God to give me patience, to take a few deep breaths and just relax.

Yes, I do...

Yes, thankfully, I do still have a job. After a very stressful week, I will continue going to work and teaching my students. For the next two weeks, we are studying the presidential election. Hopefully it will help me decide who I want to vote for. Even if it doesn't, my kids are really enjoying it.

Yes I have a job, No I don't...

It's kind of like he loves me, he loves me not, but on a much more serious note. Dallas ISD is facing an 84 million dollar budget shortfall and it's teachers are taking a BIG hit. Unfortunately, this hasn't been a quick process. It has been a long, drawn-out, painful, stressful process. The "higher ups" keep pushing back the decisions deadline. First, it was the deadline about what they were actually going to do. On October 2, they decided they were going to have to let 550 teachers go. In effort to avoid firing that many teachers, they opened up a time for voluntary resignations. Finally, this past Monday, we were told that Wednesday, tomorrow, was the day that teachers would be getting pink slips.

Mind you, we have been going about our daily lifes, teaching and just plain living, with bated breathe for more than a month now. We have been expected to act like nothing is happening; like we aren't in danger of losing our jobs at the next turn. Every single teacher is worried about whether or not he or she will have a job tomorrow. "They" say every delay is to make sure they are making the best decisions for everyone involved, but I have a hard time believing that letting us hang for weeks, going on months on end is good for us. We are expected to continue teaching our kids when at any moment our principal could walk in with that dreaded piece of paper that says "Sorry, you are no longer employed by Dallas ISD. Please pack your belongings and vacate the premises."

Well, it's stressful enough thinking that tomorrow is the dreaded day, but then I get an email saying that because of a meeting that HE had with the principal's, they are pushing it back one more day, JUST TO MAKE SURE. So it won't be until Thursday. I read that email and I just wanted to scream. I don't want to lose my job, and until Sunday/Monday I had done a really good job keeping my focus elsewhere and not worrying about it.

At this point, the decisions have already been made. The principals know who is going to go, so they just need to get on with telling people - so that everyone can breathe a little easier. Even if it is me, I just want to know...I don't want it hanging over my head any more.

Come see me...

A few years ago my mom started making jewelry. She has time for fun little projects like that since she had to retire from work - jewelry, quilting, etc. Once she started making jewelry, she got me into it and I really enjoy the creativity of figuring out how different beads work together to make a necklace, bracelet or pair of earrings. We have made jewelry for ourselves and given it away to family and friends, but it would be nice to make some extra cash from our little hobby. A friend mentioned a website called etsy.com over the summer so I finally looked into it and got a store set up.

Come and see me (and my mom) and my (our) designs at www.MELodesigns.etsy.com.

$55 million

The other day I was listening to the radio and I heard that Johnny Depp had agreed to do a fourth Pirates of the Caribbean movie for a mere $55 million dollars and I thought..."Wow, why does he get $55 million for a few months of filming a movie (yeah I know its a lot of stunts and stuff) and I only gross in the mid $40K's per year for teaching those who hold the future in their hands?" How is that fair...I know...life's not fair, but I don't have to like it. And now, on top of everything else, Dallas ISD is in the midst of an $84+ million budget shortfall and on Thursday they decided that 550 teachers will be fired. So every teacher has to go to school and continue doing their job while sitting on the edge of their chair wondering if the next time their classroom door opens it will be the principal telling them to pack up their desk and go home...
The Dallas budget crisis somewhat mirrors the national crisis, which I can't pretend to understand because I still sit at home counting pennies hoping against hope that I can stretch until the end of the month, until the next paycheck, until I finally have all my debt paid off and can breathe again. I'm down to about 20 months if all goes well, I get to keep my job and I don't breathe too deeply...

Back in its parking place

My car is back in its rightful parking place tonight and I'm only $156 more in debt than I was before. Luckily, the only belt that snapped was the one that controls the power steering. I say luckily because the mechanic called and said that the other 2 belts were in really bad shape. So, there could have been much more damage which would have cost a lot more money and put me in a much more dangerous position when the car broke.
The Lord definitely took care of me last night...just as He does every day. I just have to focus more on leaning on Him.

Melanie and the horrible, terrible, no good, very bad week...

It has been a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad week since I woke up on Monday morning. It started when I woke up late, not much, but even a little throws me off. I had a migraine and am out of medicine, so I had to suffer through it. Thankfully it subsided on it's own sometime during the super stressful, very frustrating day.
We started a new free breakfast program at school and they were supposed to start serving at 7:30 so that by 7:45 kids were ready to take their sack breakfasts to class to eat. They didn't start serving until almost 7:50 and my kids didn't walk into class until 8:05 - 20 minutes late - so I was then behind 20 minutes. This is bad when you only have the kids for 2 1/2 hours before they go to the next teacher. Half the students in each of my two classes did not bring their homework which was to read and write about the story. They were talking constantly so we didn't get done half of what we needed to do. Tuesday, 9 in my morning class came without reading journals and/or no spelling homework - the same was true for 6 in the afternoon class. I am at a loss for how to make them do their homework and bring it back to school. I've yelled, threatened, the principal has yelled, I've sent notes home and made phone calls. Nothing has helped. I've never had so much trouble getting homework from so many students.
Then today...I had a meeting after work in Fair Park at the Women's Museum. The meeting was for school coordinators for Arts Partners, a program that funds field trips for Dallas ISD students. I am the coordinator for my school and my teachers have been waiting to find out how much money they have to spend. At the meeting I was supposed to find out how much money our school gets and the process for scheduling. However, I probably only spent a total of 30 minutes in this 2 hour meeting because on my way, my car broke.
I was driving along I-30 in the mix master when I heard a pop. I didn't know if I had run over something or if something broke. A low hum started a few minutes later and I knew something was wrong. Luckily, my exit was just up ahead and I was experiencing no real trouble. As I exited and slowed down, the low hum turned to a grinding and as I approached the light at Parry Ave and Grand by Fair Park, the grinding was so loud it sounded like I was dragging something metal along the pavement. I was having trouble steering, but I managed to get into the turn lane and stop but even when I stopped, the grinding kept going and I had lots of people staring at me. I called my mom sobbing and hyperventilating - "I don't know what's wrong and I can't afford to fix it..." She could hardly understand anything I was saying.
I turned on my flashers and jumped out and look under the car but there was nothing dragging. I got back in and slowly turned into the parking lot in front of the Science Museum. I kept driving around to try to find where I was going so I could make it to my meeting while watching all my gauges to see if anything more was going to happen. Once I reached about 10 mph, the grinding stopped, but it took every ounce of strength I had to turn the steering wheel to get around corners. I finally got to the right place and was starting to calm down after talking to my stepdad and then my mom again who started making phone calls to my insurance for a tow truck, an automotive shop so they would know it was coming and so forth. When I finally parked, I popped the hood and saw that I was missing a belt - shoot! And when I looked under the car again, I saw what remained of the belt hanging down.
I left the meeting at least 10 times to take phone calls from my mom, insurance company and the tow company updating me on when the tow truck would be there. However, it's Dallas, at rush hour, in the rain, and the guy was coming from Grand Prairie - the closest truck according to the tow company.
I sat in the parking lot for 45 minutes after the meeting was over. Thankfully, a sweet lady sat and talked with me while I waited so I didn't have to sit alone. Once the tow truck got there and loaded my car, the lady told me to pay it forward - which I intend to because she certainly didn't have to sit there.
I told the tow guy about what happened and he was puzzled at how the belts could break with no overheating and full functioning except for the power steering...We got to the shop around 7:30 and popped the hood again. Only one of the belts was broken - the one that controls power steering - the other two were fine. Thank goodness.
So I'm without a car, depending on others for a ride to and from work tomorrow and back to the shop to get mine (hopefully it will be done tomorrow).
I sure do hope the next two days are better than the first three of this week...I need them to be better.
Now, I'm going to bed early...