Is God Calling?

I have a heart for missions - or I have had in the past. I've been on 5 mission trips, but it's been almost 9 years since my last one. The first was in 1992 and I went with my youth group to Bryan/College Station and we did simple home repairs on 3 houses in the community - simple things like painting and such. In 1996, I went to Costa Rica and we repaired and painted a church as well as played with the kids. In 1997, I went to Honduras and my team worked at a school, in a medical clinic and one day I even got to handle a machetti and go to work in the rice paddies. I went to Europe for a month in 1999 on a 2 part trip with a team of 8 from Southwest Texas - in England we helped a church with their inaugural VBS, did some homeless ministry and did some street teaching and then in Scotland we were counselors at a youth camp. The last of my 5 trips was in 2001. I went with a wonderful group from a church in Pennsylvania (none of whom I knew) to Russia and we spent 2 1/2 weeks repairing one orphanage and visiting numerous others to visit with the children.
I don't ever remember truly seeking God's will for whether or not to go on any of those trips, but He taught me much and blessed me greatly through each one of them.
I was talking to a friend from church last Sunday about a trip she is leading to Bangladesh this coming June. As she was telling me about the trip plans and what all the team will be doing, I felt a stirring in my heart - a desire to go with them. I've had other opportunities over the last 9 years, but I haven't truly felt a desire to go (or I did, but only because I wanted to see that place - like Zimbabwe or Tanzania).
So, I'm wondering and praying...this stirring in my heart...is it ME just wanting to go or is it GOD calling me to go? Hopefully it's clear soon. She needs an answer yesterday but told me to let her know ASAP!

early morning

I woke up at 4:30 this morning to knocking and when I opened my eyes, Bella was sitting on the corner of my bed staring at the ceiling. There were red and blue lights flashing on the ceiling. The knocking wasn't at my door and when I looked out the window, I saw an ambulance and a fire engine in the parking lot. I tried to roll over for my 45 minutes left of sleep, but the flashing lights were too bright and distracting and Bella was so nervous that she was on top of me.
I took Bella outside before I got into the shower and she took off running because we saw the ambulance gurney outside an apartment door. As we were walking back up the stairs, we saw the EMT's carrying someone down the stairs in some kind of chair. I guess because the stairs have a landing, it makes it hard to get the gurney up.
Bella didn't calm down until the red and blue lights quit flashing about 15 minutes later - apparently it wasn't a life and death emergency because they didn't move very fast...
Thankfully, I haven't been any more tired today than I usually am for the loss of 45 minutes of sleep. However, I think I'll hit the sack a little early tonight.

My Crazy Dog

My dog has recently started hanging out in the bathtub while I am gone. It has only been since I got back from vacation back in July. I'm not sure why - the bathtub? She doesn't like taking baths, so why would she lay in the bathtub while I'm gone?
I realized that's where she was one day when I came home and I heard all this scrambling and banging. She was having trouble getting out...
Maybe it's a cool place to lay, or maybe she's hiding and feels safe there...who knows.
I wish I had a picture of it, but I haven't been able to catch her yet - but I always hear her jumping out when I walk in the door.
That's my crazy dog...

Tragedy and Fear

Last Monday, the police found my uncle dead in his house. He and my aunt were separated, so he was living alone. Nobody had heard from him in several days: he wasn't answering his phone and he didn't answer the door hwen the neighbors when to check on him for my aunt.
We later found out that he had had a seizure and his his head and had been dead between 3 and 5 days when he was finally found.
It has always been one of my biggest fears that something would happen to me and nobody would notice for a few days and then it would be too late. There are days when the only people I talk to are the people at work, but would they call and check on me if I didn't show up one day - I don't know...I know its a little morbid, but its one of the fearful hazards of being single and living alone.
I wasn't close to my uncle, but it makes me sad to think of the way he died. If you think about it, say a prayer for my aunt and 2 cousins as they cope with his death.

Sinus Surgery

Last Thursday I had sinus surgery, a turbinectomy and a septoplasty. For at least the last 6 months, I have suffered from chronic sinus infections and in January I had a CT scan that showed inflamed tissues (turbinates) blocking my nasal passages as well as a deviated septum (the cartilage part of my nose was S-shaped) which make it difficult to breathe. Since no antibiotic would help the sinus infections, my Dr. determined surgery was my best option for relief.

When they were bringing me out of surgery and into recovery, and as I was coming out of anesthesia, they had to hold me down because I tried to sit up, take off the blood pressure cuff and take off the gauze they had put over my nose. As I regained consciousness, the nurse asked where I hurt and at that time, my throat was raw from being intubated - they gave me pain medicine and told me to suck on cough drops or life savers when I got home.

Once the numbness wore off from surgery, the pain was incredible! I've never experienced such pain, except when I had kidney stones...when the sheet touched the tip of my nose, it sent shooting pain in all directions through my head and all I could do was cry. I had plastic splints in each nostril holding my nose straight and stitches holding the splints in place. This surgery is NOT worth the pain unless it is an absolute health necessity!

For me, it ended up being a health necessity. After the surgery, they sent samples from my sinuses to a lab for cultures to grow and test. What they found was the infection MRSA (Mersa) - methicillin-resistant staphylococcus aureus which is a type of bacteria that is resistant to certain antibiotics. I found out that's what I had Tuesday at 2:30 when the Dr. removed the stitches and splints from my nose. He told me I will have to tell every doctor for the rest of my life that I have/had MRSA because it will affect the types of medicines they can give me. Then at 4, I was watching Oprah and she had a story on it - it can be fatal - very scary stuff. For more information, http://www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/understanding-mrsa-methicillin-resistant-staphylococcus-aureus.

I have to say I'm glad I had the surgery and I'm lucky they found out what the infection was and can treat it.

Another -0- Year

I turned 30 today. No big deal really. My Monday wasn't any different than most other Monday's except that I got more phone calls, text messages and emails; my teaching team brought me lunch; and Emily took me to dinner and brought me a present. I don't feel any older and I don't look any older than I did yesterday...30 is just another number.
I did want to do something special to celebrate this year so Emily and I went to Humble for the weekend and went with my mom to a tea room in Highlands, TX called the Teapot Depot and then we got pedicures and my stepdad joined us for dinner. It was a fairly relaxing weekend, which is just what I was looking for.
On the 4 hour drive back home, partly in attempt to stay awake and partly reminiscing, I started thinking about other birthdays I've had and how I celebrated them. There are a few that really stand out and others I don't remember at all:
10 - I got my ears pierced and had a slumber party
16 - I had a surprise party
20 - I sat in the emergency room and watched footage of the Columbine High School shooting while waiting to get my ankle looked at - it was fractured
21 -A group of friends took me to Medieval Times in San Antonio and Robin was my waiter (tights and all)
24 - A group of friends took me to the Omni Theater in Ft. Worth
29 - Emily and I went to Sam Moon and went purse shopping, had lunch at Red, Hot and Blue and then drove around Irving taking pictures to spell out "Melanie is 29"
Back when I was turning 10, 30 seemed a long way away. It didn't take as long to get here as I imagined.
I look forward to the coming year and all that the Lord has in store for me.
Lord, let my 30th year be my best year yet!

Maybe next year...

Well, I made the most of a day that I have never once had anyone to celebrate with...the day every single person dreads...Valentine's day. I went and worked out which is an every Saturday morning activity. In the early afternoon, I went to see "He's Just Not That Into You" by myself. It wasn't a great movie, but the premise rings true - at least in my life. I've been the girl to cling to any little hope that a guy might like me; to sit by the phone praying that he'd call - and checking to make sure that the phone did work so that I wouldn't miss the call. Pathetic, yes. But I just wanted someone to like me back so badly.
This evening, a good size group of singles from my church met at Freddy's Custard for dinner and then went rock climbing at Summit Gym. I didn't actually climb but it looked like a lot of fun. I need to practice with just a couple people before I risk embarrassing myself in front of half the singles group!
Overall, I would say it was a pretty good Valentine's Day. I still long for a fairy tale, but what single girl doesn't. Maybe next year...